Have you ever walked into a boardroom, ready to present a vision that could change the trajectory of your department, only to realize you are the only one in the room who looks like you?
I have. More times than I can count.
As someone who fought for a seat at the table in the high-stakes world of Information Technology, I know that “breaking the glass ceiling” isn’t just a metaphor. It’s a series of daily, physical, and emotional hurdles. I remember sitting in cold office buildings early in my career, my heart racing, wondering if my perspective or leadership style would be seen as a barrier rather than the strength I knew it to be.
But here is the truth I’ve learned after years as a CEO and a motivational speaker: the talent is there. The ambition is there. The problem isn’t that women aren’t “ready” for leadership; it’s that many companies are still making the same seven mistakes that push them toward the exit.
Are you accidentally sidelining your most promising leaders? Let’s take a look at the mirror together.
1. Treating Women as “Exceptions” to the Rule
We’ve all seen it. A company has one woman on the executive team and uses her photo in every brochure as proof of “diversity.”
When we treat women in tech leadership as anomalies, we create a “lonely at the top” culture that is unsustainable. If a woman feels like she is a mascot rather than a member of the team, she will eventually find a team where she doesn’t have to carry the weight of an entire gender on her shoulders.
The Fix: Stop celebrating the “first” and start measuring the “many.” Use transparent metrics to track how many women are in the pipeline for technical leadership roles. If the percentage of women in leadership doesn’t mirror the talent in your lower ranks, ask the hard “why.”
2. The “Likability” Trap vs. Performance
I once knew a brilliant developer: let’s call her Elena. Elena was sharp, direct, and hit every milestone six weeks early. But her performance review? It was filled with comments like “too aggressive” or “needs to work on her tone.” Meanwhile, her male counterparts were praised for being “decisive.”
When we judge women on personality traits instead of technical impact, we aren’t leading; we’re policing.
The Fix: Create a standardized, result-based criteria for promotions. If you can’t prove the feedback is tied to a specific business outcome, it’s probably bias. Focus on the what (the results) rather than the how (the personality).
3. Confusing Mentorship with Sponsorship
Mentorship is great. It’s advice, a shoulder to lean on, and a sounding board. But mentorship alone doesn’t get you a promotion. Sponsorship does.
A mentor talks to you; a sponsor talks about you when you aren’t in the room. Many women in IT are over-mentored but under-sponsored. They have plenty of people to tell them how to improve, but nobody “putting their skin in the game” to advocate for them during high-level strategy meetings.
The Fix: I challenge you to look at your most senior leaders. Are they actively sponsoring women for high-visibility technical projects? If not, it’s time to formalize a sponsorship program that ties executive bonuses to the advancement of their protégés.
4. Assuming They Are “Less Technical” Because They Lead
There is a strange, unspoken rule in tech: if a woman moves into a management role, people assume she “lost her edge” or wasn’t “that technical” to begin with.
I’ve faced this myself. As I grew Lurdez Consulting Group, I had to remind people that I built my foundation on the technical grit of IT infrastructure. When you sideline women from the “deep tech” decisions, you lose a perspective that could save your company millions in failed implementations.
The Fix: Never assume. Ensure your women leaders are the ones steering the technical roadmap, not just the “culture” or “people” side of the business. Their technical expertise is their currency; don’t devalue it.
5. Sugarcoating the Feedback
In an effort to be “nice,” many managers avoid giving direct, critical feedback to women. They use “soft” language because they are afraid of an emotional reaction.
Do you know what this does? It stalls careers. If I don’t know exactly where I’m falling short, I can’t fix it. By the time the “soft” feedback becomes a “hard” performance issue, it’s often too late.
The Fix: Be radical with your honesty. Deliver feedback that is behavioral, timely, and actionable. Trust that your women leaders are resilient enough to handle the truth: because they are.
6. Ignoring the “Double Burden” of Culture Work
In many tech organizations, the “invisible labor”: organizing the team outings, mentoring the interns, leading the DEI committee: falls disproportionately on women.
While these are vital for a 21st-century business culture, they often don’t count toward a promotion. We are essentially asking women to do two jobs: their actual job and the “office housework.”
The Fix: If it’s important enough to be done, it’s important enough to be rewarded. Either distribute the culture-building tasks evenly across the leadership team or include them as a core metric in performance reviews.
7. Letting Burnout Become a Silent Killer
The “always-on” culture of IT is exhausting for everyone, but for women who are often also balancing family caregiving or the pressure of constantly having to prove themselves, the burnout hits differently.
When a high-performing woman leaves, we often say, “She wanted to spend more time with family.” The truth? She likely left because the environment made it impossible to do both.
The Fix: Normalize boundaries. Lead by example. If you are the CEO, don’t send emails at 11 PM. Create a culture where “resilience” isn’t about working until you break, but about knowing when to recharge so you can lead effectively for the long haul.
Bottom Line: The Path Forward
Building a truly inclusive tech leadership team isn’t about a one-time workshop or a social media post. It’s about the gritty, daily work of dismantling the “old boys’ club” and replacing it with a culture of authentic meritocracy.
I want you to think about the “Elena” in your office right now. Is she being challenged? Is she being sponsored? Or is she being slowly pushed out by a thousand small “mistakes”?
Don’t let them!
The future of tech depends on the diversity of the minds building it. If we keep losing our best women leaders because we are too comfortable with our old ways, we aren’t just failing them: we are failing our companies.
I challenge you to pick just one of these seven fixes and implement it this week. Whether it’s starting a sponsorship conversation or auditing your promotion criteria, take that step. Your future leaders are waiting.
If you are looking for a speaker to help your organization navigate these shifts or to inspire your team with stories of resilience and leadership, let’s connect. We have mountains to move, and we’re going to do it together.
