It’s hard to face your fear, but sometimes, it’s what you are meant to do!
For me, it started the day my friend Jackie called. She had just received her pilot’s license and wanted to take me for a spin in her light aircraft, the kind that looks nothing like an airliner and even has removable doors! I would be her first ever passenger! That would have made most people a little nervous, but for me, I was so excited for her that I didn’t think about myself. I felt honored to be asked and I felt happy to support her. I was all ready to go, when we found out there was a mechanical problem with the plane and we would not be able to fly that day. So, I figured it just wasn’t meant to be.
Then, I attended a party for the 12th anniversary celebration of Jackie’s business. One of the door prizes was a flight with her to lunch at a nearby airport. Guess who won? That’s right, me. I’m the kind of person who is always looking for signs in my life and I absolutely took it as a sign that a power bigger than myself was telling me that for some reason, I was supposed to be on a flight with Jackie!
The day arrived for me to claim my prize. I did not have a fear of flying. But after I got up in the air, I realized I had another fear…the fear that I wanted to do this myself!
I decided to take a small step towards that direction, and shortly afterward, I took a discovery flight at a flight school. During the flight, the instructor gave me the chance to actually grab the wheel. Now I was facing my fear! My hands were shaky and the whole idea of being in control was frightening, yet oddly exciting. At that moment, I felt I was facing a fear of something that I was meant to do. I was uncovering a gift that I could bring to the world if I could only muster my courage to do it!
People have hidden talents and gifts that sometimes are hidden behind our fear. How do we bring out that gift? Sometimes it is about facing that fear to find out what’s meant to be.
Your fear may feel like an overdose of excitement. It’s like when you are tickled…too much! The feeling is overwhelming. Same with excitement. A little is fun, but an overdose can be overwhelming. The trick is to not let yourself get overwhelmed!
Think about a child who is afraid to jump into the water. What manifests as fear is usually their excitement at being asked to do something unfamiliar. So what do we do? We show them how we can go in the water and nothing will happen, or we point to all the other children like them who are having fun in the water. Soon they will discover that not only do they not have to worry about the water anymore, but perhaps they can learn to swim. In some cases, the child may really discover a love of swimming or a gift to swim competitively as they grow older. Just imagine if that child’s gift had not been realized because of their fear?
That’s why it’s important to try to face your fears. You never know where the new territory will lead you! So how do we do it?
- Face your fear…cautiously. If your fear is public speaking, don’t start with a crowd of 250. Start with a presentation to a handful of people.
- Find support. I never could have tried to fly myself without the help of a competent instructor. Let others guide you and support you, especially on your first venture into the unknown.
- Resolve to be the agent of change. Obviously, that room of 250 people isn’t going to shrink down to five, the swimming pool isn’t going to get smaller, and the airplane isn’t going to land the minute you take the wheel. You yourself must change in order to face your fear. You have to want to overcome it.
- Know that facing your fear is a lifelong skill. Imagine the feeling of empowerment you will have once you know that you can do whatever you now fear doing. Imagine the outcome. It will feel good, right? And best of all, you can use what you’ve learned again and again to face other fears!
- Defuse your fear with knowledge. We fear what we do not understand. For example, I’m currently in the process of facing my fear of getting my pilot’s license, which was my initial fear. But the more I learned what to do in order to fly safely, how the aircraft operates, etc. the more my fears began to disappear. It’s the nonexistent problems that are hard to overcome; the real ones can be faced with more knowledge and practice.
- Acknowledge the steps you’ve already taken towards your goal. Perhaps your fear is public speaking. But didn’t you have to give speeches in school? Get up and introduce yourself at a networking meeting? Perhaps you fear taking a test. But haven’t you already taken tests in school? Concentrate on your past success and let it buoy you into the next one!
Facing your fear isn’t always fun and it definitely takes courage. But know that on the other side of trying something new may lie greater confidence, empowerment and even finding a new life purpose!