“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in tournament if you don’t trust enough.” — Frank Cane
Trustworthiness is one of the key components in making connections and building relationships. I grew up understanding that trusting your elders and superiors were signs of respect and manners. We are taught that trust must be earned. Trust is not “wanted” but “needed” to interact in the workplace and in our personal lives. But are we truly being trusted? Bottom line, in personal or in business, trust is applicable in all aspects of our lives.
Fast forwarding back to when we were kids, imagine a son and mother were crossing the street:
The mother said to the kid, “Please hold my hand so we can cross the street.”
The boy responds, “No, I want you to grab my hand.”
The mother responds, “What’s the difference son?”
The boy insisted, “Mom there is a very big difference; if I give you my hand, I don’t know if you are going to hold on to me, but if you grab my hand first, I know I will be safe.”
The meaning behind this story expresses the confidence of the little boy when his mother grabs his hand. The boy establishes confidence when she grabs his hand because she has all the control to get to the other side safe. Usually when making the first move the other person feels comfortable and tends to open-up.
For instance, when two people are attracted to each other, how do they break barriers? Usually the person who leans in for the first kiss automatically sparks a trustworthiness sense that enables the other person to kiss them back. Sometimes making the first move and delivering with no expectations will allow you to build a significant relationship with another person. In some cases, delivering a favor or a simple gesture may result in you receiving a positive response. In other cases, you may also get taken advantage of, if you are over-delivering.
It isn’t any different in the workplace. You automatically are assigned people you need to work with. When you earn the trust of one person you need to take ownership. It is important to understand that in most cases to build trust, you need to hold them from the hand. You need to show them and tell them that you are there to support them. A simple “I got you” can make a difference, but those three words are insignificant if you do not deliver anything to them. It is critical to interact with others in order to build trustworthiness. In the corporate world over-promising and under delivering is how you become known to be untrustworthy. If you are stuck in a situation where you are unsure of anything it is better to respond with a phrase such as, “that is a good question let me find out and get back to you.” Or “I do not know the answer to your question but let me ask my supervisor and get back to you.” When you admit you don’t know something others will appreciate your honesty. Also making the effort to find the answer will make you trustworthy when delivering answers to them.
In the workplace being trustworthy means, you can be counted on to get the work done. Even if it consists of you doing extra research or giving someone else credit for an idea that is not yours. Think about when you travel, and you get on an airplane. You trust the pilot will get you from point A to point B safely. I will never forget my first time flying as a pilot student with no flying experience. It was an incredible experience that inspired me to pursue my pilot license. However, the terrifying thought that if something happened to the instructor and I would have no idea how to land the airplane was about to stop me from pursuing this dream. In certain situations, we need courage to trust those around us to actively pursue our dreams and desires.
If we don’t trust the people around us; we would not be able to pursue our goals and dreams. All humans need the ability to trust in others in order to succeed in life.
Throughout my life and career, I have encountered people from all diverse cultures and backgrounds discovering the advantages of trustworthiness. Here are some tips to remember:
- Give it your best without expecting anything back in return: Sometimes in our personal life we have trouble trusting people we just met. You will encounter situations where delivering with no expectations is the first step in building a trustworthy relationship.
- Interact and communicate: Ongoing non-verbal or verbal cues will allow you to provide and receive feedback that will enable you to decide if someone is trustworthy.
- Do not underdeliver and over promise: To be successful in the workplace taking the time to research and find the answers will make you a reliable. It can also lead to opportunities to take on higher tasks.
- Give credit for work that is not yours: By acknowledging the work of others you built a sense of credibility, encouraging your contributions and others to want to work with you more frequently.
Overall trustworthiness is a key component that is needed in our daily lives in order to be successful. It becomes an instinct in some cases such as riding in a taxi or flying in a plane. In other cases, it takes courage and integrity to trust those around us with no expectations and simply doing the right thing. I challenge you to give it a try and have a little faith! If you don’t try then you are not living live to the maximum.